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Out of the Darkness

Out of the Darkness

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is holding an Out of the Darkness Community Walk at Triad Park on Saturday, October 4 at 9 a.m. in hopes of creating awareness and raising more funds for aggressive mental health research within the community. Check in is held at 8 a.m.

The event will include live music, food, a memory area, and local mental health resources.

In 2013, AFSP participants raised over $9.3 million. AFSP is the leading non-profit organization that is dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research and education, and to reaching out to people with mood disorders and those impacted by suicide.

Kernersville resident Bill Apple and his daughter, Mara Apple O’Neil, know all too well about the loss of a loved one due to suicide after losing their daughter and sister, Lindsay Apple.

O’Neil explained that after her sister took her life four years ago on October 25, 2010, she decided to get involved with AFSP in order to help those suffering with depression and the family members dealing with the loss of a loved one, just as she had.

She noted that she even served on the executive board of the AFSP and helped them become the 65th chapter to be chartered in the U.S.

O’Neil explained that often a family member or friend, unless educated, doesn’t always know what the symptoms are for someone that is thinking about suicide.

“You don’t know what you are seeing until after the fact,” she said. “We knew Lindsay was depressed, but she had gone through periods of depression before and she had pulled out of it through exercise, counseling and medication. We honestly thought it was just another one of those situations.”

O’Neil said they also thought her sister’s depression was situational because she was out of a job, something she said would make anyone feel down in the dumps.

“We just didn’t realize the severity of her depression,” she said, noting that being out of a job is a risk factor for suicide victims, along with withdrawing from friends and family.

Along with the previous bouts of depression and being out of a job, O’Neil mentioned that Lindsay had been diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease and as it worsened over time, she had more and more anxiety with going out into public.

O’Neil said this year will be the fourth year she has participated with the Out of the Darkness Walk. Though she will not be physically walking this year due to the birth of her child, O’Neil formed a team to walk and has raised funds for the event in support of raising awareness and prevention of suicide.

“The grief, guilt and mixture of emotions, it was a difficult thing to go through,” she said about her sister’s suicide. “I felt I needed to channel all of it in a positive direction and thought that if I could help someone learn something or be there for someone with a similar loss, I wanted to be able to do that.”

Along with wanting to help others, O’Neil hopes to change the mindset of many people about suicide and the idea that there is a certain type of person that becomes a victim of suicide.

“There is still a lot of stigma around mental health issues and suicide,” she said. “Lindsay had a good family, a graduate degree, was popular, gorgeous, a leader, artistic, and very well liked and bubbly. People have told me she had a lot of things going for her and didn’t seem like the type of person who would commit suicide, but that doesn’t mean she was immune to depression and death.”

She continued, “There is a preconceived notion that there is a certain type of person that takes their life, but it can happen to anyone. Mental health issues do not discriminate in any way.”

Apple noted that depression is often a biological issue and can affect multiple people in one family.

Apple recalled that Lindsay did show signs of depression, but they were very subtle.

After Lindsay’s death, Apple said he too had a difficult time, so he sought counseling; although he had a great counselor, he realized he needed more help.

“I found counseling, but I found it wasn’t helpful enough because I was emotional and was not able to function on a daily basis like I needed to,” he said. “I decided to consult with a psychiatrist that found my depression to be a chemical imbalance.”

After being given medication, Apple said he was better able to manage his depression and the feeling of loss.

Apple feels that others should know that sometimes depression is a biological and chemical issue that can be aided through medication.

He explained that he realizes that his daughter felt she had no way out.

“People who (take their lives) aren’t focused on the impact it will have on those they leave behind,” he said. “I really don’t think victims are capable of evaluating it from that perspective.”

Both Apple and O’Neil feel it is important for others to learn about the risk factors for loved ones and for themselves and to seek help.

In an article entitled, “There’s Nothing Selfish About Suicide” written in the Huffington Post by Katie Hurley, a child and adolescent psychotherapist and parenting expert, she talks about her experience with suicide loss and how others can help prevent future victims of suicide. To read the short article, click here.

According to O’Neil, from information she found from the Centers for Disease Control, in 2011 in the U.S. there were 39,518 suicides and one person dies from suicide every 13 minutes.

“Suicide is also the 10th leading cause of death and there are many attempts far more often than that,” O’Neil added.

Money raised from Saturday’s event supports the activities of AFSP, including funding research into genetic, biological, behavioral factors and prevention and treatment of suicide; a Landmark study on treating complicated grief among survivors of suicide loss; expansion of the Interactive Screening Program to over 70 colleges, the VA, NFL, a major Metro Police Department, and a Fortune 500 company; increased use of More Than Sad Program on teen depression and the companion program for school personnel on suicide prevention; sharing After a Suicide: A Toolkit for Schools, which provides information, tools and guidance to schools that have been touched by a suicide; and more. To find out about other activities supported by AFSP, visit www.afsp.org.

To register for the walk, visit www.afsp.donordrive.com. Registration cut off is Fri., October 3 at noon. To donate to O’Neil’s team, type in “Loving Lindsay” into the search box on the event website.

If you or a loved one need help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

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